| The Actors | Mark | Sue | Clint | Lisa |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Job | Printer | OTA | Yardwork | None |
| Relationship | Husband & Wife | Son | Daughter | |
| Age | 46 &46 | 15 | 12 | |
| Favorite sport | climbing | X-C skiing | BMX jumping | soccer |
| Grade Point | 3.94 | NA | 3.833 | 3.833 |
My parents came up from Olympia for a pizza dinner today. I haven't been able to get down to see them in a long time. I can't tear myself away from homework without getting behind. When I am behind, I have to stay up later during the week which creates a snowball effect of exhaustion. By gluing myself to homework on Sunday, I just manage to stay ahead of it. I put a solid six hours into my 43 slide powerpoint interactive courseware project this weekend. I am getting a pretty good idea of the scope of the project and realizing that it doesn't have to be perfect. My content is already far and above most of the other class members. L. might have more since she said she had around 90 slides.
Our communication instructor was so pleased with our racial diversity discussion on Friday he made the test a take home. I was able to finish it at the kitchen table while Mom and Dad were here. I had to pull the staples out in order to type up the essays on Sue's old college manual. It's 30 years old and still works great. Sue and I had some nice quality time today. That is getting rare. This schedule and the drugs I am taking for my dizzy disease takes it's toll on relationships.
I have been feeling overloaded this week. Today our 4 person group finally gave our presentation on Guadalajara. Our leader was a no show which is becoming typical for this class. I think we may have gotten a C or B. My fears about a test on html forms proved groundless. Today was a lab day in N.'s class. Lucky thing too, since I had a dizzy spell and spent a couple hours out in the car with my trusty bucket. I am doing pretty well with my powerpoint show on climbing. I am up to about 50 slides all linked together with buttons.
Yesterday we had a school assembly. It was billed as an opportunity for us to experience cultural diversity. It turned out to be 3 colored women in front of microphones. They were doing a tribute to 3 famous colored women. The only name I can remember is Maya Angelou. When the 3 women lined up in front of the crowd (about four hundred) I wondered how they could possibly do much without any music. Their appearance wasn't inspiring. Two were chubby and the third was obese in black lycra with buck teeth and hair done up in dreadknots. However, as soon as she opened her mouth I could tell I was in for a "Don't judge the book by it's cover" lesson.
All three had perfect pitch and were soon singing a capella, making the old gymnasium ring like Carnegie Hall. They also had a very refined technique of reading poetry in turns. The ugly one was incredibly talented and versatile. She was impersonating the famous Maya Angelo. She had a "way down South, ya all" manner of speaking which, when heard in the check out lines sounds cheap but in her incredible voice was captivating. The beauty of her soul shined so brightly I could no longer see her physical uglyness. I was charmed, heart and soul.
Nothing like writing a little html to calm the mind. The house is empty. Sue and Lisa dropped Clint off at an indoor BMX place before venturing off on a shopping expedition. Today is the President's day holiday and I am luxuriating in the quite time. I have been sitting on the front doorstep stuffing in a second helping of Sue's homemade turkey stew. Without the hot stew, it wouldn't have been warm enough to sit out there in the misty February air. The woods are soaked with last nights rain. I can hear a few birds talking to each other. I don't envy them. I have lived in the wet woods before and found it a grim existence. I am so fortunate to have a warm dry home for my family. I have even had some time to share with them between homework assignments.
Right now I am waiting out a dizzy spell. It is a bit like a headache except instead of pain, I feel dizzy. My world isn't spinning thanks to the scopalamine patch I am wearing behind my ear. I was tempting fate to eat two large helpings of stew. If I do get the "spins" I am going to be doing pretty spectacular spewing. I am reminded of a nauseating scene in the movie "Animal House" where the camera man had positioned a 2 inch fire hose behind the face of the upchucker. When I feel better I need to write out and rehearse my speech for my communication class on why our teacher should retire to Guadalajara. I could also ponder the problems developing in my interactive 60 slide Powerpoint assignment. I have a cool 3d interface finished but the navigation is proving confusing. I thought it would be easy but boy was I wrong. I think I need to study the flow charts before I make anymore slides. There must be some logic somewhere.
Hip Hip Hooray! I have two whole days off in a row. This morning I completed one of my assignments in Photoshop. Here is a picture of it. 
It is a large 260K image, but I like it so much I didn't have the heart to decrease the file size. For my new career as a designer I have been told I should become a Photoshop artist. I resisted at first, thinking it would cheapen my artistic motives. I am finding that Photoshop can be fun and even creative. If I could get good at it, I would be doing Photoshop art in my new job instead of soul-less printing. I can only see that as a positive. It is not "real" art in the sense of lasting hundreds of years, but at least it is more creative than seeing how fast I can run sellable sheets of paper through a printing press.
Not to mention the fact that my new career will be dayshift. On a dayshift job their is plenty of time to relax and paint "real" art on the weekends.
I woke up to fog this Saturday morning. I have to work six or seven hours today. My dad sent me a copy of his new book on the Nestucca oil spill. It looks fairly interesting. I might have time to read it by next September. I am feeling under the gun as usual. I am seeing a pattern in my frustration levels. I start out the week feeling excited by school. By Friday, all the pleasure is gone from school and work and I am plodding along, doubting I will ever reach the end of the tunnel. Thoughts of quitting this vast escapade are never far from my mind. All my assignments seem like huge, insurmountable peaks. It's a miserable excuse for a life. Sue just left to go shopping with Lisa. I am eating luke warm lima bean stew for breakfast as I type.
Although I have a two day weekend, I'm planning to do homework both days. When I get a little ahead on the homework, my stress level goes down. I am running 4/4 business cards at work today. One of our customers wants the most exotic, complex business cards possible. Usually day shift runs them but it's my turn now. The design is mettallic inks knocked out of double bump black number 6 doutones with a PMS red or blue covered with varnish on gloss crack and peel and gloss cover. This is about as hard as printing gets on a two color GTO.
I feel a lot of pressure in my ear. My last 3 attacks have been mild enough that I could work or study through them. I don't know if the disease is easing off or if the ear patch is working.Anyway I am thankful. This weekend I need to work on the story boards, slides and interface for my interactive CDROM project, prepare my speech on "Why you should retire in Guadalajara" for my communications class, complete assignments in Photoshop and Freehand and finally, read the chapter on Cascading style sheets in my html book.
It's quarter after nine. I really ought to leave for work. Who knows, I might even have a little fun. High end printing can look pretty good...if nothing goes wrong.
Tuesday evening, 11PM. I just got home from work and school. They are all sleeping as usual. I should be doing homework but have decided to play hooky for once. Besides, my head is spinning. I managed to work through this attack. My new scopalamine anti dizzy patch that I wear behind my ear seems to work just well enough to stop the vomiting but not well enough to stop the dizzyness.
I am getting a good start on my big project this quarter. Each person in the class has to create an interactive multimedia project in Powerpoint on a subject of our choosing. I chose rock climbing. I am tentatively planning it to act very much like a how to rock climb manual, except it will all be in Powerpoint. It is so big I don't know how many slides it will be yet. Too complicated to count although similar projects by the class ahead of me had slides in the 70's. I did turn in the structure map today. I am thinking it may be a poor map because I get a head ache looking at it. It is fun designing all the links between sections. It is a totally new concept for me. The limitations of the web don't apply in multimedia work since there isn't a bandwidth issue. My instuctor wants me to create a jazzy control panel. I am resisting. My climbing images are so strong that a fancy control panel is unnecessary. I may change my mind on that. Time for bed.
I just love Saturdays. My 6 day week is over today. From now until I have to be at school Monday morning, no one can ask me to do anything. There is no one to blame but myself for the situation I am trying to survive now. I was so sure I could hack all this. My resolve to stay in school is cracking under the load for a number of reasons.
Reasons to quit school:
- It is physically too demanding. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the pace of working 25 to 30 hours in addition to full time school.
- It is mentally draining me. I can't study or print at 100 percent anymore. Everything I do is below my standards. When given assignments to be creative, all I can think of is how tired I am. Creativity comes from a quiet place inside me which no longer exists.
- I am beginning to understand what a web designer does and I don't like what I see. I have spent my entire adult life in the advertising business. Web design looks like more of the same.
- I want to be a painter. I want to create lasting beauty, not just oh's and one's in cyberspace. This complex procedure I have entered myself into whereupon; I go to school, change carreers, climb the web design corporate ladder, only to retire in 10 years when I have saved enough to paint full time is becoming ludicrous.
I guess that is enough whining for one entry. I got off work in time tonight to swing by my daughter's 13th birthday party down at the community clubhouse on the lake. If there is anything noisier than 30 preteens at a party I will be surprised. They were all smiling so it must have been a good party. I couldn't handle the chaos and came home. It was strange standing around on the sidelines as the teenyboppers danced and played games. Sue was acting as the party leader and appeared to be enjoying herself. It was just a little too much for me after my 88 hour week.
My communication class is becoming a trial. First,Mr. G. divided the class into 4 groups. Then he threw 4 darts at the globe. Wherever they landed was where each group had to persuade him to retire. We ended up with Guadalajara. There are 4 or 5 of us in the group. Somehow we have to put together a group presentation with an introduction, a body and a conclusion so solid we could take it on tour. We have a couple A students in the group but no solid speakers. I am thinking we will have to write out the script and rehearse it somewhere.
I have sold two paintings this week! My friend A. who works in the bindery and already owns 2 of my still lifes bought a third this week. I also sold a print of "Old City Hall" from my show at the Key bank in Gig Harbor. That extra income will really come in handy.
Today is Sunday morning. Birdy and I are the only ones left in the house. Even though I haven't seen the kids for 6 days, they all decided to go to the mall five minutes ago. They have gotten so used to me being gone that my sudden presence means very little. I might as well be the next door neighbor returning from Phoenix in the spring. "Oh, uh...hi, we'd forgotten you still lived here, see you later. We're going shopping." I tried not to get angry at them. It's not their fault I am gone all the time as I work my way through school. At least I get to see Sue every morning for 20 minutes. I was browsing through some old Slides yesterday morning before I went to work. We have 6 carousels full of old slides. Some are from the spring of '76 when we first started dating although dating is the wrong word. We met in the Tacoma Mountaineers Club. Our early slides are pictures of hiking trips together. I am not sure how healthy these trips down memory lane are. It is true that we had a hell of a lot of fun back then, at least compared to now. But when I get out of school in September and get my first decent day job since '92, we may be able to have just as much fun in the future as we had in the ancient past. That be the dream, anywho.
I am feeling pretty wrung out this morning. Yesterday I worked from 11:30 AM until 9:30 PM. After I turned out the lights in the pressroom, I went upstairs to the prepress area where the company has a PowerPC Macintosh hooked up to a Linotype-Hell Saphir scanner and spent an hour scanning slides for my upcoming interactive multimedia assignment at school. I need some more tutoring on the scanner. Because I only under stand a few of the scanner menus, the interface is very awkward and slow. This afternoon I will get some exercise. Sue might even go with me. That should be fun.
Friday at last. Tonight after work I scanned some slides on the Macintosh at work. After hearing about them for so long it was neat to actually get some hands on experience. I am in the process of aquiring 50 or 60 climbing images for a school project. I am trying out a new drug. It is in the form of a patch I wear behind my ear. It releases scopalamine into my bloodstream over the three days it lasts. I still got dizzy but not at work or school. When the attack hit me in the middle of the night from a sound sleep, I got out of bed to a spinning world and proceeded to loose my dinner in a bucket out in the garage. Fortunately the spinning only lasted an hour and I went back to bed.
I have had a lot of homework this week. All three of our teachers are dumping on us. N. gave us three or four assignments, all due in a four day period. I got them all completed on time but found it amusing when she started whining about the huge pile of Zip disc's waiting to be graded. She is going to be a very busy teacher. They are installing another 20 computers in our new classroom. She is going to be teaching two classes at once: an advanced group (us) and a beginner group. There is also going to be an evening class starting up. Her reputation and the demand for web designers is making this class the hottest class at the college. Time to hit the sack. I am overdue for some serious shut-eye.
