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Reflections on a creative life

It’s a pompous title, I agree. But I just watched “Stuck in love”, a movie on Netflix about a family of writers. You could write it up as: Earnest Hemingway has two teenagers who are published, and his divorced wife (their mother) returns to him. It sounds very trite, but all the actors were top notch. I lived in the story. It reminds me of my life, in that I am also a creative soul. My kids are possibly not, though they are both good artists with pencil and paper. Like me, they have put their creative talents aside while earning a living.

My life has a lot of similarities to that movie. We are older than that couple, and not nearly as dysfunctional, but I get the part about creative people needing to live a tortured life. Mine has not been tortured as in the movie. Though I wonder sometimes whether the adrenaline sports I pursue are a forced way to add drama to my plain jane life.

Summing up the last few months will be difficult. I spent Xmas in Big Sur and Jtree. Big Sur was awesome, though lonely. I was the only painter on the coast that week. I enjoy hanging out with friends, but painting for me is a solo affair. I can’t focus on my muse unless I’m isolated. But finding calmness in a popular tourist viewpoint is a contradiction in terms.

Still, I wore my headphones and tried to find some peace as i painted. I did two paintings on the coast,  two more at tree, and loved  every minute of the work. Painting full time feels so right. There are no doubts when I am painting. Even if the work turns out bad, the “doing” feels so right, so perfect for my needs. I need to create art.

What can I say, it’s in me and it has to come out. I run from it for months, even years at a time, but then it comes rushing out.

At work, a friend of a friend was just diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I met her briefly. She was an attractive woman, fit, and much younger than I. Afterword I stood there talking to my friend about it. We were both in shock. You never know when the ax is going to fall. Live life to the fullest while you can.

I will post pictures later. I am busy with a teacher training class on Canvas, which is like the old blackboard and angel.